What a difference a day makes

So here's the emotional entry, which is the purpose of journaling. I'm not kidding this is a lot more painful than I ever imagined it could be. You'd think I could manage to make it through 4 days without crying so much but when we leave each other it's like this gaping hole that won't go away. I just love him so incredibly much, so deeply. It's like breathing. And when he isn't here or I'm not there it hurts to breathe. If I could marry him tomorrow and have him here with me while I am in school I would do it. (That's not the only reason I would marry him but that would be a different, much longer journal entry). Which is the point of wanting him here. I always thought that when I was in school it would be easier to be on my own so that I could focus on studying. I was wrong. We know each other so well now that I could definitely do both. I would RATHER do both. I would very much PREFER to do both. He is such a major part of my life and while there are other parts of my life at this time that part is what does the most for me. I am sure my career will do the same and I really enjoy what I am learning but at the same time I want to go thorugh this experience with him literally at my side. The fact that I am even here and came here and stayed shows how much I want my career. But that's not all I want. I want balance in my life between work and family/love and friends and hobbies. And that is what they keep stressing in these classes: the need for balance in your life. You have to be a balanced person to survive this line of work or you burnout. But that is true with any job, I think. If your job becomes your life you neglect everything else. So balance is essential. And taking turns with weekends is the best balance I can come up with right now. But that old cliche about absence making the heart grow fonder is pretty true in this case. Except I didn't think that I could grow any fonder of him than I already have. I love him to such an immense level that I didn't know it was possible to reach but every day surprises me with more. It's really incredible to love someone so unconditionally and so fully. But on Sundays it just makes my heart hurt that much more. But it is also definitely worth it.