What it's like

It's like standing on the side of the motorway with a stalled out car watching convertibles of happy people whiz by, knowing that I have to be happy for them without knowing when my car will move forward.

Like a dream I want to wake up from but I'm already awake.

Not sure how much more I can take...but I guess I'll find out.
My heart's about to burst out of my chest.

Sigh.